I've been thinking a lot lately about my teenage years and how much fun they were. It must be because I'm nearing my thirties and feeling hella old but mostly because I've been feeling really nostalgic and listening to old songs that take me way back. I enjoyed my teenage years and for the most part I feel like I went into my twenties reasonably unscathed by the plagues of teenage life like acne. However, they are some things that I wish I did do differently and they often cause a slight pang of regret whenever my mind wanders to them. We all have regrets; some big and some small and yes people will always say we shouldn't live a life of regret but simply having a regret doesn't mean you hate how things turned out. Furthermore, it's not to say that if you had done things they way you wished life would have turned out different because life is a pretty unpredictable beast that we ultimately can't control. So with that being said here's 3 dumb things I did in my teens that I totally regret but ultimately they don't really matter because I tuned out okay.
One regret that I have is giving up sports and dance. I know I may be short and little but I was quite the dancer, runner and I could do more than just doggy paddle in a pool. Granted I wasn't going to become an Olympic gold medallist or anything but I really did enjoy being active. It gave me a sense of achievement as well as something to direct my focus and energy on besides my academics. However, that all changed after high school when all those things that seemed to be important seemed to fall to the wayside and didn't match up in priority to hanging out with my mates or caking on makeup that wasn't even my shade to attract boys.
I mean who knows what would have happened if I had carried on; would I be one of those people with a Monday evening commitment to play netball? Would my body have shaken off the dreaded slow metabolism and ultimately these love handles I seem to have collected? Probably not but now we'll never know because I did give it up and I do sometimes regret that I did. This feeling of regret especially creeps in when Marcus goes to play football with his mates on a Monday evening I think to myself - I should be doing something active.
Maybe this is me just feeling the pressure of the society we live in today where having a diary full of things to do and people to see (#busy) presents your life to the outside world as "poppin" but you know what? My life is in reality pretty dry and boring and of all the things I could be doing with the free time I can find, contact sports of any kind are probably at the bottom of the list way below watching documentaries on Netflix. So yes maybe it was dumb of me to give up sports and dance and maybe I could have been ripping great benefits (like abs and no love handles) if I had carried on but that's just too many maybes for me to stress over so you know what? It doesn't really matter. There was a time where I did love to be active just for the fun and sheer enjoyment of it but those days are way behind me and it's okay. I've swapped running on the track for running around after my little sister, I have no Monday evening activity commitment and I hit the gym occasionally which is okay for me. Besides, I prefer to do my socialising over food and cocktails!
So I have 5 tattoos all together. one on my foot, another on my inner left wrist, one on my left side by my rib cage, one just below my neck (which is a cover-up for another tattoo) and one on my right forearm. None of them particularly mean anything but each one of my tattoos has a story or a memory which is good enough for me. However, I absolutely regret getting the one on my forearm. It does not mean anything and the worst part is I don't even know what the hell it is so you can imagine how dumb I feel everytime someone asks me what it is. It's like a seahorse/dragon hybrid thingy that just lives right there on my forearm for all eyes to see.
No surprise that it was the first one I ever got. I clearly remember going to the tattoo parlour when I was underage with a fake ID and I was so scared I was going to get found out. I literally picked the design out of a book in sheer panic and foolishly proceeded to ask the man to tattoo it in a place where everyone could see it (great one Tash). I was so young and dumb and excited for no reason and now I have this hideous, permanent reminder of my foolishness. I've learned to live with it over the years but I do plan to get it covered up soon because I actually refuse to go through the rest of my life with it on my arm. I'm bummed that I was told in my consultation that I'll need to get something relatively big to cover it up but you know what? I'd rather have something big and pretty than something small and ugly on my forearm. I'm just thankful that I can cover it up; and even though I regret getting it, it always makes people laugh when I tell them the story of how I got it and the story has served as a good ice breaker over the years. Ever a glass half full girl me eh?
Another victim of wanting to hang out with my friends and attract boys was my studies, particularly during my two years at college. In the grand scheme of things it really doesn't mean anything now because I did end up going to the university I wanted and eventually left uni with a 2:1 in Law with Business. So then why the regret you ask? Simple; it's the stain on my academic record that bothers me. Some might say getting a B and two Cs is hardly an academic stain and for all intensive purposes it isn't because as I said I got onto the course I wanted in the uni I wanted and it all turned out hunky dory BUT when you've gone from being an A and A* student to getting average results it does bruise the ego a little. So with that being said, I've just had a realisation that it's not the academic stain that bothers me but rather the bruise to my ego and pride and simply knowing that for a brief period in my life I didn't push myself as hard as I should have and could have.
Yes it all turned out good in the end and I thank my lucky stars each day because it very easily could have gone a different way if I had partied just a bit too much and allowed the distractions to take over. So ultimately although I regret slacking off a bit in college, it really doesn't matter because the bruise to my ego serves as a motivator to me now. It's for those days when I lose focus and get distracted by frivolous things. Its a reminder to push myself and do my best and who can be mad at that eh?
So There you have it guys! There's just 3 dumb things I did as a teen that I regret but don't really matter. I could probably write a whole book with all the mistakes I made in my teens but I just thought I'd keep it light-hearted and share these 3 with you and show you that just because you "fall down" so to speak, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world. A good story can come out of bad decisions and at the very least you'll have a great story to tell that will perhaps put a smile on people's faces.
This is by no means me trying to glorify making bad choices and by all means if you can avoid making a bad decision I suggest you go with that because you'll save yourself a lot of trouble and heartache in the long run. I have made many mistakes in my life' some that I can't even share on the internet and these 3 are reasonably mild in comparison but if I've learnt one thing over the years it's that we seem to learn more when things go wrong rather than when they go right. So my dear pets, wear your mistakes with honour and learn from them. It might seem like the worst thing at the time but when you take that experience and use it in a positive way, it won't matter that you fell, only that you got up.